Semen Theory

Once in my 20's I dropped acid at home while my family was on vacation. I think every time I do acid my mind contorts into an amorphous unwieldy shape, and it's like an alchemical experiment where I'm both the experimenter and experimentation.

Back in those days, I was still on mostly good terms with my neighborhood. I was basically a king figure for the kids. They congregated on my lawn like flamingos and I became like the King Raccoon Prince of Bullberry. It was very nice but of course they were just kooky kids and so given my long term degeneration, I eventually fell out of grace. But I remember being high as heaven on acid this one summer day and biking around trying to de-pickle my mind. For there was something that had crept up inside me. One of the kids, Rachel, I suddenly saw stick her little balloon head out of a passing car, shouting hello to me. I was touched but the oval shape and her small little kid's body, combined with the acid degeneration eroding my psyche, made me instantly think we are all little sperms booping fruitlessly around and unsuccessfully trying to inseminate the divine anus. And such thoughts under those conditions tend to be Very Traumatic Business I tell you—

But that terrifying spiritual insight impressed upon me. Putting aside my psychedelic drug abuse for one moment, a cosmic sperm theory seems to have some bastardsome reality.

Now the thing is that the anatomical sperm cell is encased in SEMEN which is issued from a PEEPEE in order to meet a VAGINA EGG. This of course is the main biological premise informing the sperm theory, but now as a transposed ontology conceiving the sperm as a metaphysical structure preceding a cosmic human system. 

Well, at the time I believed that I had to break through a spiritual threshold or perish. And our current society certainly nurtures a competitive sort of sperm race in social relations. But the thing is that I believe the sperm form a collective organism— that is they are a sub-organism derived from the individual human whose cells produced them. Working together they seek, through the sexual magnetism of the ovum, to reunite with what is only a seemingly separate body, within the uterine homeland. However, this article talks about how eggs discriminate between different sperms. Trying to fit the egg into a semen theory is another thing— the human body may resemble a sperm, while its egg archetype may take on more metaphorical form. Only in uniting with something whole do we become truly creative and engaged in the flow of life. Or some such hippie shit.

The strange thing is though, that we are semen. We are all the semen of Christ and Buddha and the great Sages. We must flow together in order to see and become with the Egg. The great ovulating eternal life.....

 

Um.......